Liar Liar

Lies, self-belief

What lies are you hearing? What lies are you telling yourself? Some tell lies right to our face while for others it is repetitive actions or non-action such as exclusion that may convey untruths.

I have listened to many falsehoods about me over the years. As a young teenager, I was excluded from information and decisions that greatly affected me. As a result, events and decisions would happen within my family unit that came as a shock to me. I would get upset only to be discarded and told I was being stupid. As a developing child, I came to believe I was not valued, not worthy of consulting or being included. Ultimately this affected my ability to question things, speak up or contribute as I believed that I was either too stupid to say anything of value or I would be ridiculed.

As an adult, it is of no surprise that I came to find myself in a relationship with a man who repeated those same traits. In that relationship, he told me repeatedly that I was stupid. I was excluded from decision making, information was withheld from me and again I believed the falsehood that I was incapable and worthless. The relationship was particularly nasty and many untruths were said to me, about me, such as I would never be able to hold down a job, I would never accomplish things and I would never lose weight because I was a quitter. Many more unsavoury lies and untruths were told to me and although I had more than enough evidence to suggest otherwise, the constant torment was a big burden to bear. Even when I finally found the courage to leave the relationship I was told repeatedly I would never make it on my own, would never financially have the means to live on my own and would never be happy in life.

As soon as I removed myself from that relationship I felt amazing. In my sacred healing space, I realised that as horrible as all that had gone before was, there was something worse. I had believed all of those lies and my joy had been strangled. For too long, my already fragile system of self-belief had been rocked to the core. It was time for me to get such people out of my life for good and to set a new belief system for my myself, by myself.

I know now of course that all lies are told only from a place of fear. Adults who tell lies and live under false pretenses are only hiding their own fears. The lies and falsehoods are a game of smoke and mirrors, yet it can be all too easy to get caught in their grip when already fragile. Lies told to us, told about us and that we tell ourselves prevent us from living great lives full of passionate joy, something that is our birthright!

I have found that the biggest fear we can ever face and overcome are the lies and untruths we have come to believe about ourselves. When we overcome those, freedom and liberation rush in and we can do anything as the beautiful limitless beings we truly are.

“Trials are but miracles that you failed to learn presented once again, so where you made a faulty choice before you can now make a better one, and thus escape all pain that what you chose before has brought to you.” A Course in Miracles.